But That Was When I Ruled the World
by Blood-On-Glass
Summary: *Spoilers for season 4* "He wanted to stop being the Governor, this was the time to prove it. . . the sword slipped out of his hands and hit the ground." What if Brian agreed to Rick's terms and chose to live peacefully in the prison with Rick's group? What if he wasn't able to kill the little girl who he had come to think of his daughter? And what about Hershel? Language warning.
1. The Liar, The Honest

**AN: I just loved the Governor's character to pieces and I was devastated when he died! (I know, I know, he's evil and killed Hershel, but what can I say? I am a sucker for villains!). I'm not sure if this will be continued after the first chapter because it's sort of me just testing the idea out. If you guys want more, please let me know. :)**

**I know some of the dialogue is incorrect, but I didn't want to watch the episode and get it down word-for-word because that can be a little tedious. **

Brian listened to Rick's pleas as he looked into his eyes with his single good one. He didn't have to glance behind him to know that his side was beginning to hesitate. Once Rick mentioned sick children that weren't going to make the move, every single on of his men seemed to feel ashamed of what they were doing.

_Then they don't care about surviving,_ a small voice in his head reminded him. _If they aren't willing to do whatever it takes to survive, then they have no right to be here right now. They have to right to claim that they have made it this far after the world went to shit. _

Brian continued to look at Rick, so lost into the pathetic, pleading eyes that he almost forgot he was holding a sword to someone's throat. He couldn't help but look past Rick to the two girls who were crying for their father. He instantly recognized the one whom he forced to undress and pressed her up against a table.

"We can live together!" Rick begged, looking at the man who had the sword to his throat. "Please! No one has to die!"

"No one has to die as long as we get the prison," Brian reminded the prison's former leader. "I am giving you the option of walking away unharmed."

"I told you, some of us aren't going to make it!" Rick yelled.

"And if I don't get the prison, all of you will die."

"We can live together!" Rick said again.

Brian felt himself chuckle at the thought. "Do you really think we could all live together peacefully? Do you think that I could live under the roof of Michonne? Maggie? Glenn? Or how about you and I?"

"We could live in different cell blocks," Rick explained. "We wouldn't even have to see each other."

"It could work," the old man underneath his sword called out. "You know it could."

"It doesn't have to end this way for either of us!" Rick exclaimed. "Look, I've fought him before!" Rick told the group pointing at Brian. "And afterwards, we took in his group. They became leaders! Is this what any of you want? If you walk through those doors, you become one of us. We can forget all of this! And nobody dies! Everyone is alive right now, everyone has made it this far. We've all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive! We can still come back, we are not too far gone! We can come back! I know we all. . . can change."

Brian didn't even realize he had withdrawn the sword from the old man's neck until he was looking at it, the sun gleaming off of it into his good eye. He thought about his daughter Penny and his wife who he couldn't even think about without feeling like someone had stabbed him in the heart.

_We are not too far gone_, that part of Rick's speech kept going through his mind. How the hell does he know that? Why the hell does Rick assume he wants forgiveness for his actions? Brian wasn't even entirely sure he wanted or needed forgiveness for what he has done to people. Mostly because. . .

No one had ever offered it.

Now that it was right in front of him, he could sense his own hesitation. He wanted to stop being the Governor, this is his chance to actually prove it. . .

The sword slipped out of his hands and hit the ground, but he didn't take his eye off of Rick. He could see the look of excitement and hope in his eyes as the sword hit the ground.

"Come inside, Governor-"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Brian yelled at him, speaking up for the first time in a while. "I haven't gone by that name in a long time."

Rick nodded. "Fair enough."

"Brian?"

Brian recognized Lilly's voice from behind him. He turned around and saw the woman carrying her daughter, Meghan. . .

"Meghan-" Brian began, unable to finish his sentence. He could feel all of Rick's men and all of his own watching the two of them. It was then he noticed Lilly's eyes- streaked with tears and full of pain.

"I couldn't. . . she wanted me to help her dig. . . I thought it was-" Lilly was unable to form a single sentence, but Brian understood well enough what happened.

"I-" Lilly began, but broke off sobbing.

"She was bit," Brian stated, not as a question but Lilly nodded anyway. "Lilly, what I did to your father-"

"I know," she whispered.

Brian took Meghan in his arms. He didn't know how long it took for Lilly to make it to the prison on her own so he didn't know when Meghan was going to come back as a Biter. What he did know was how much this situation reminded him of the similar one he had with Penny. Meghan was not his daughter- he did not bring her into this world, he wasn't even married to Lilly. However, he grew fond of the little girl and enjoyed how much she did remind him of his own daughter. He felt it was Meghan and her family who truly helped him change from being the Governor to being Brian Heriot.

Brian gently lowered Meghan to the ground and slowly took out his pistol. He then soon realized he couldn't bring the gun to her head, let alone shoot her.

He remembered the conversation he had with the man he had taken as hostage to capture the prison. He remembered the man's plea, _"Everything you've said, the way you've said it, you've changed. So has Rick. We'll find a way. You say you want to take this prison as peacefully as possible. That means you'd be willing to hurt people to get it. My daughters would be there. That's who you'd be hurting. If you understand what it's like to have a daughter, then how can you threaten to kill someone else's?"_

Brian had venomously replied, "they aren't mine." As if not having a relation to someone meant that it was all right to murder them, tearing them away from their families and friends. Yet, Meghan wasn't his and now he felt what it was like to love someone who wasn't even related to you.

"I'm sorry, Pumpkin," he whispered, willing himself not to cry and look weak in front of Rick's group. Lilly made it more difficult for him with her sobbing in the background.

"She-she's gonna'", Lilly began but wasn't able to finish.

He knew. Of course he knew. He knew better than she did. He remembered the look of horror on her face when he killed her father, not having a complete full understanding of the new world they all lived in.

"I can't," he whispered to her, feeling yet another weapon slip from his fingers. "I can't do it, Lilly, I'm sorry." Anger and frustration overwhelmed him due to his weakness. "DAMN IT!"

Everyone was definitely staring now, probably silently judging him for being so weak.

"Brian, is it?" Rick suddenly was right beside him. Brian didn't answer his former enemy, instead he was looking at the gun in Rick's hands. "Do you need some help?"

"I don't need your help!" Brian spat. "I don't need help from anyone."

"Then what's stopping you?" Rick asked him.

Brian didn't answer and Rick's expression changed for a brief second, a look that could almost have been pity. Brian hated being pitied, but he didn't have time to protest as Rick approached Meghan closer and held the gun to her face.

"No!" Lilly yelled. "Please!"

"Lilly, you know it has to be done," Brian whispered. "You said so yourself that you knew." He wrapped his arms around the sobbing woman. "Just don't look," he ordered her and she buried her face into his chest. He looked up at Rick, hating the fact that he needed the man's help. "Just do it!"

Rick nodded and Brian felt himself looking away as well, tears welling up in his eyes.

He jumped when he heard the gun shot.

**Should I continue? Please let me know what you thought! I wasn't sure how to write him changing from the Governor to Brian. **

**Thanks for reading! And I am terribly sorry for any errors in this. My word processing program doesn't have grammar or spell check and I don't want to download a new one, so I just trust the document manager to catch them, but we all know the internet can make mistakes. :/ **


	2. Meghan

**AN: I was relived to hear that people are interested in this story. **

**Graeshires: I guess we'll have to find out! :)**

**FoxfaceFan1: I love your name and profile picture! Nothing more terrifying than Eva surrounded by flames! I'm curious where this is headed too. **

**Here is the next chapter! Sorry if I get any of the cell blocks wrong, I wasn't really sure where everyone was. **

"I am not staying under the same roof as that. . . monster!"

Rick pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep, calming breath and then looked at Maggie. "I know, Maggie, I know-"

"Do you know what he did to me?" Maggie demanded. "What he did to Glenn? And let's not forget he tried to make Daryl fight to the _death _with his _brother_."

The council (or just Rick, Herhshel, and Maggie) was in their usual meeting room while the Governor- or Brian- was outside with his group, unarmed with guns in their faces, courtesy of everyone else. This was just until everyone could get a chance to allow what just happened to sink in and allow the three to discuss a new game plan."

That wasn't working out very well for some.

"I know what he's done!" Rick exclaimed in a harsh whisper. "I know what kind of a man he is-"

"Was," Hershel interrupted. "What kind of a man he _was._"

"People don't change that easily," Maggie protested venomously. "How the hell are we supposed to trust him?"

"We ain't gonna' stay under the same roof," Rick reminded her. "We'll stay in different cell blocks. This sickness is almost done and over with; Brian and his group can stay there once everyone is cleared out."

"And until then?" Maggie demanded.

"They can stay in cell block B," Rick decided.

"I thought you said you were done making decisions for this group," Maggie pointed out, with a touch of bitterness in her tone.

"I didn't have a choice!" he spat back. "I don't love this idea either but it was either welcome Brian and his people or get blown to bits, _you know that!" _

"He spared my life," Hershel reminded his daughter. "And I am thankful for that."

"I know, Daddy-"

"You saw him with that little girl," Hershel said. "I once asked him how he could kill my two girls after being a father himself once and he replied saying, 'they aren't mine'. He just proved himself wrong when he couldn't pull the trigger on that girl. I don't know how much the man has truly changed or who he really is- heck I don't even think _he _knows. But we had to give him a chance, Maggie, you know that just as well as everyone."

"What about Michonne and Daryl?" Maggie asked Rick and Hershel.

"I think they know we did what we had to," Rick answered. "They won't love the idea, but I don't think anyone does."

"All right," Maggie said, taking in a breath. "I need to talk to my husband, he's still in the cell block with the rest of the sick people." With that, she walked out of the room, leaving Hershel and Rick to watch her exit.

"I think she will get used to this eventually," Hershel said. "It will take some time but she can do it. Same with everyone else from Woodbury."

Rick nodded. "I don't doubt it."

"Come on, we need to go talk to Brian and his group."

Brian and the rest of his men stood tall while the prison group held assorted weapons in their faces. Many of them he recognized from Woodbury or people he tried to kill in the past. Daryl Dixon stood beside a young kid-probably about thirteen, and the two looked fierce and ready to attack when necessary.

Brian refused to give them a reason to.

"Carl!" Brian saw Rick approaching the rest of his prison group.

The kid looked turned around and looked at Rick but kept his gun held up to Brian. _Ah. . . this is probably Rick's son that he told me about. _

_"You've changed. So has Rick." _Hershel's speech echoed through his mind and Brian couldn't help but wonder who Rick was now. He wasn't entirely sure who he was before.

"Yeah?" Carl asked his father.

"We're leading Brain's group to cell block B," Rick informed his son. He looked at Daryl. "Can you, Carl, and a few others make sure Brian and his people get escorted there?"

Brian knew by "escorted" he meant led into the block with guns in their faces.

Daryl nodded and Rick looked over at his son. "Be careful," he warned him and received a nod. Rick seemed satisfied by his son's response and looked up at Brian. "Cell block B isn't that large," Rick told him but didn't have a trace of sympathy in his voice which pleased Brian. "The block with all the sick ones is much larger and this whole thing is almost over-and-done-with. Once it's safe and cleared out, your group can stay there."

"How long will that take?" Mitch Dolgen- Brian's most loyal follower demanded.

"Give us about a week," Rick answered, looking into Mitch's eyes dangerously, as if daring him to challenge. Thankfully, Mitch didn't.

"All right then," Rick nodded to everyone. "Let's get going then." He began to walk off but soon stopped and turned around. He looked at Lilly who was at Brian's side clinging onto him, her eyes still red and streaked with tears. "I'm sorry for your loss," he said softly, and Brian was sure he was thinking of his own child and newborn. The man drew in a sharp breath and looked quickly at Brian. "Both of you," he whispered._

"All right," this is the block," Daryl mumbled to the Governor's group as they entered Cell Block B. "This is where ya'll be staying 'til the other one gets cleared out."

Carl stood beside him with a gun along with Tyresse and another person from Woodbury who he couldn't- or didn't bother to- remember the name of.

The Governor didn't say anything but his little bitch from the tank spoke up. "What now, asshole? Are you just going to leave us here defenseless when there could be Biters around?"

"There ain't no Walkers around," Daryl told him, glaring at him. "We cleared it out." He took out a knife from his belt and Carl did the same. "But Rick says to give you guys some knives just to be on the safe side. You ain't gettin' no guns or enough weapons to over power us, but we'll give you what you need to survive." He handed the knives to various people from the Governor's group, purposely avoiding giving them to him directly or his bitch, despite knowing the Governor would eventually get one from someone anyway.

"Thank you," a girl in two pony-tails said, taking one of the knives. "For everything."

Daryl didn't accept her gratitude vocally, but nodded at her knowing that this wasn't anyone's fault but the Governor's.

"What about my little girl?" a woman who was standing next to Brian asked. "My Meghan."

"What 'bout her?" Daryl asked.

"We need to bury her," the Governor spoke up for the woman for the first time since they arrived at the cell block. "Her body is still out there, isn't it?"

With everything going on, Daryl seriously doubted Rick grabbed the body of a dead little girl. He shrugged. "Probably."

"I need to-" the woman broke off. "Please. And I want Brian there with me. If you have to have ten people stand around us with guns then so be it."

"Can you at least talk to Rick?" the Governor asked him, his one eye was impossible to read and Daryl found himself wondering what that meant.

"Rick ain't the one in charge no more," Daryl reminded him bitterly. "Why can't you get that through your head and leave him alone 'bout it?"

"Fair enough," the Governor said simply.

"Stay here until _we _discuss it," Daryl ordered the older man. The Governor nodded and Daryl turned to the other two. "Keep an eye on them." He then looked at Carl. "Let's go talk to your dad." With that, the two of them left, Daryl making sure Carl was in front of him.

Once the two of them were outside and headed for the block Rick, Maggie, and Hershel was in, Carl stopped suddenly in front of him, causing Daryl to almost bump right into him. "The hell, kid?"

"Do you think my dad made the right choice?" Carl asked suddenly.

Daryl didn't have to ask him what he was talking about, he knew. "I don't think he really had much of a choice," he pointed out. "It sucks that the Governor made him be the one to say it, but let's face it if it was anyone else, they woulda' done the same."

"I was the one who asked him to step down," Carl told him.

"The hell ya' talkin' 'bout?" Daryl asked, this time actually confused.

"My dad," Carl explained. "I asked him to stop being the leader so he could rest. I know Hershel did too, but I feel as though my dad just wanted to make me happy."

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Daryl asked him.

"I just-" Carl stopped. "Never mind, it's nothing." He continued to walk, leaving Daryl no time to ask any more questions.

The two approached the cell block and found Rick with Hershel and Michonne, the two seemed to be trying to calm the woman down.

"He's the reason why Andrea is dead!" Michonne reminded the two of them. Her hand was gripped onto the sword at her side tightly as if she were trying her best to control her temper.

"I know, I know," Rick said. "He's the reason why a lota' people are dead, but-" Rick broke off after he saw Daryl and Carl approach them.

"Didn't I tell you take take at least two others with you?" Rick asked Daryl.

"They're still in the block," Daryl told him. "Look there's somethin' we need to discuss."

"What is it?" Rick asked.

"The little girl that the Governor couldn't shoot-"

"She's still out there," Rick finished. "Yeah, I know. I was thinking about that a little while ago."

"They wanna' bury her."

That caught everyone's attention. "Of course they do!" Hershel answered.

"Should we let 'em?" Daryl asked.

Rick opened his mouth but it was Hershel who answered. "We can't say no to a woman who wants to bury her daughter."

"She wants the Governor with her. I guess the three of them were kinda' like a family or somethin'."

Rick sighed. "That changes things." Hershel opened his mouth but this time Rick stopped him. "It does, Hershel and you know it."

"They don't care if we watch." Daryl explained. "She said we can stand out there with guns to their heads."

"Well good, 'cause we just might," Rick said.

"No, we aren't," Hershel protested.

"Do you forget who we're talking 'bout?" Rick asked the older man. "This is the same man who just had a sword up to your throat a few hours ago."

"And the same man who dropped it because he realized he needed to change," Hershel said. "Look, Rick, if it was Maggie or Beth I wouldn't want a bunch of people out there with guns to my head as I tried to give them a proper burial. Would you? What if it were Carl or Judith? How would you feel then?"

"But it's not them," Rick pointed out.

Hershel looked at him in surprise, a look Daryl couldn't understand. Michonne, who had managed to stay quiet through all of this, finally spoke up. "You sounded just like him for a second."

"What are you-" Rick began, but was cut off as Michonne began to walk away from him.

"We can get Maggie to watch from the towers," Daryl suggested. "She seems to have gotten pretty good at that."

"And we can have others on guard, just not in their way," Hershel finished. "If it makes you feel better, you can be one of them. I'm not asking for Brian, I'm asking for the poor mother who just lost a child."

Rick hesitated and then nodded. "All right," he agreed. He looked at his son. "Can you go back with Daryl and let Brian and the mother know? And tell them only those who were close to the little girl can go outside for the burial."

Carl nodded and Daryl took him towards the block with the Governor, this time making sure Carl was behind him.

"We'll be watching from the towers," Daryl informed the Governor as he once again was next to the ex-Woodbury resident and Tyresse. "So don't try anythin' stupid, got it?" It was the mother who nodded, but Daryl wasn't satisfyed with that, as it was not her he was worried about. He looked at the Governor and the older man nodded. "We just want to bury Meghan."

Daryl nodded and whispered to Tyresse and the other man from Woodbury. "Go to Rick and Hershel-they're by the fences. We need people on guard just in case." The two nodded and left the room. Daryl then once again nodded at the Governor. "All right, follow us."  
_

"Brian," Lilly's voice came from behind him. He had been out digging for almost an hour, doing his best to ignore the fact that he knew several guns were aimed at him, and had just finished, thankful Meghan was so small and didn't need that large of a hole. He looked up at Lilly who had Meghan's wrapped body in he arms.

"Do you want to-" Brian began, and Lilly nodded. She bent down over the small hole and dropped her daughter in with a sob.

"Lilly-" her sister Tara spoke up, trying to comfort her. It was just the three of them outside.

"Just cover her!" Lilly screamed. "Please, just do it. I-I can't-"

Brian did as Lilly said as her sister wrapped her arms around her sobbing body. "It's all right," Tara whispered, and Brian could tell she was doing her best not to cry. "It's all right."

Brian finished covering the little girl and bent down next to Lilly and wrapped his arms around her. "It's over now," Brian told her gently. "It's over."

Although he knew that the pain had just begun.

"Should we tell them to get back in their block?" Carl asked Rick, the two of them holding their guns up. Rick's arm was definitely tired after holding it up for so long and he was sure everyone else was feeling the same way. Rick took a deep breath.

"It would feel right," he said. "Hershel was right, we need to allow people to grieve." He lowered his gun. "We checked them and made sure they weren't armed, I think we're safe." He looked over at Brian holding the sobbing mother. "Besides, I honestly don't think Brian's gonna' try anything."

Even from the distance, Rick could see the look of grief on Brian's face. It was a look that everyone could recognize it by now. Rick never thought it would actually be possible, but maybe the man had changed.

And he knew that the little girl the three of them had just buried, probably had a lot to do with it.

**Thanks for reading! :) I know these past couple of chapters have been really boring, but I do have some excitement planned ahead. **


	3. Lilly

**AN: I was relived to hear that people are interested in this story. **

**Graeshires: I guess we'll have to find out! :)**

**FoxfaceFan1: I love your name and profile picture! Nothing more terrifying than Eva surrounded by flames! I'm curious where this is headed too. **

**Here is the next chapter! Sorry if I get any of the cell blocks wrong, I wasn't really sure where everyone was. **

The Governor woke up next to Lilly, feeling uncomfortable on the small prison bed but he knew she needed him last night more than ever. It was bad when her father died and now. . .

"Brian," he heard a voice call his name. He looked up and saw the man Hershel standing above him. He had a gun in his hands, but by the look on his face he didn't seem to honestly feel like he would need to use it. That made one person who was beginning to trust him. Either that, or Hershel knew Brian was out-powered and wouldn't be able to even try to put up a fight.

"Rick wants to talk to you in Block B," Hershel informed him.

Brian looked down at the sleeping Lilly and slowly got out of bed, doing his best not to wake her. This was difficult because she was practically on top of him due to the bed being so small. He somehow managed however, probably because his wife loved to sleep on top of him and he had a great deal of practice getting out of bed without disturbing her when he needed to go to work.

He was out of the bed and cast a quick glance at the sleeping Lilly to make sure she was truly undisturbed. He went to bed fully clothed with the exception of shoes and his belt, being to tired and uneasy to get undressed. At the time he was uncomfortable sleeping in all of his clothing, but he was now grateful that he didn't have to get dressed in front of a man who was once his enemy.

He slipped on his boots and looked at the older man. "What does he need?" Brian asked him quietly.

"We'll talk outside," Hershel whispered back, understanding that Brian didn't want to wake up the sleeping woman. Brian nodded and followed him out of the cell block, into the early morning sun. Once outside, Hershel locked the doors the their block behind him, causing a feeling of frustration to bubble up inside of him. Keeping the block locked was one of the agreements Rick had decided on and Brian couldn't help but feel amused at how much the tables had turned. One minute Brian had a sword up to a man's throat with Rick begging for some kind of agreement, and the next Brian was in a locked cell block with only a few knives for his people and a limited amount of daylight coming through windows. Brian knew for sure that if it hadn't been the fact that Meghan needed to be buried, he wouldn't have been allowed to leave the block at all.

Meghan. . .

Brian hated how weak the little girl had made him feel. He shouldn't have had a problem killing a child who wasn't even his- especially since the girl had been bitten and was going to rise up as a Biter. Yet he wasn't able to shoot Meghan because he really had grown attached to her and she really did remind him so much of Penny.

"I'm sure you and your people would appreciate that."

Brian hadn't even realized Hershel had been talking. "What?"

Hershel stopped walking and looked over at Brian. "I'm truly sorry for your loss," he said gently and Brian couldn't help but feel annoyed as yet another person pitied him. He didn't need anyone's pity- pity didn't get you anywhere, it only made you weaker. "I know you lost your daughter and to have to lose another child who you began to think of as your own child. . . Well I just can't even imagine."

"What makes you think that Meghan and I were that close?" Brian asked him. "She was a little girl who happened to live in the apartment across from the one I was staying in. Nothing more."

"I'm a father," Hershel reminded him. "You and I both know that I can see through your lies. I know you're not the kind of man that likes to share your feelings which is actually another thing that you and Rick have in common, but there's nothing to be ashamed of for growing attached to people."

Brian didn't reply to his comment, he didn't feel like it was necessary. He did wonder, however, what else this man believed he and Rick had in common.

* * *

"I wanted to talk to you," Rick said as Brian stepped into their current cell block. It really was much larger, having two floors instead of one. Rick was coming down the stairs to meet him.

"So I heard," Brian replied. "What do you want from me?"

"Look _the council _and I agreed that we are treating your group a little unfairly," Rick said, almost sounding apologetic. "I promised your people I would welcome them with open arms and treat them like leaders."

"So what made you change your mind?" Brian asked him.

"You did. I didn't expect you to be okay with living in the prison with everyone because I sorta' expected your group to drop their weapons and abandon you and for you to just give up and leave." Rick sighed. "But you didn't. Now I'm a man of my word and I felt guilty for going against it. Tell your people that they are welcome in whatever cell block they want and that they can go outside as long as they are pulling their weight around here just like everyone else. They are going to be treated as our equals despite everything that happened.

"Now as for you," Rick continued. "You had a _tank_, you had an _army_, you had a _chance_! You could've taken this prison out along with everyone in it, but you didn't. I want to know why."

"Because I didn't need to," Brian answered simply.

"What the hell does that mean?" Daryl asked, coming to stand beside Rick.

"After I burned down Woodbury-"

"You burned it down?" Rick asked, interrupting.

"Yes," Brian said, slightly annoyed, not understanding why he made such a big deal out of it. "And afterwards it made me realize that I didn't need the feeling of power anymore." Images of him and Martinez playing golf on the roof of the RV innocently until Brian murdered him flashed through his mind. Then of course there was Pete. . .

"I did things even after Woodbury that I'm not proud of," Brian confessed.

"What kinds of things?" Daryl demanded.

"What do you think, Dixon?" Brian asked, which caused him to shut up. "They were things that helped me get to the top again."

"So how did you end back down to the bottom?" Rick asked.

Brian shrugged with a slight smile. "I met people who reminded me who I used to be."

Rick looked at him for a while, as if he were looking for a clue that told him what Brian said was a lie. "All right," he sighed after a while, finally giving up. "You and your people _will _be under surveillance, at least until we know for sure that there's nothing going on. In the meantime, you will be stuck with knives but will be able to roam the prison as you please."

Brian was surprised the final decision, expecting to be kicked out and left to survive on his own. Instead, they were doing their best to treat him and his group as equals. "I thought you told me that you didn't make the decisions anymore, Rick."

"It wasn't just mind," Rick told him. "Thank Hershel."

Brian found it funny how it was the man he held at sword point that talked Rick into giving Brian's group freedom. Brian wondered why the man would be so willing to do so after he forced his daughter to strip her clothing and pushed her naked body up against a table. He may not have done anything- that was even beyond the Governor- but still. . . he had violated his daughter.

"Tell your group," Rick ordered. "And offer that woman my condolences again, please." Brian knew who Rick was referring to and nodded. He turned around to head to his cell block, surprised when he realized no one was following him with a gun pressed up against his back.

* * *

Brian headed back to Block B, thinking about his discussion with Rick, wondering why he and his group seemed to be so understanding and welcoming. Then again, it wasn't like Brian had given him much of a choice. . .

Suddenly, an ear-piercing scream interrupted him from his thoughts.

Without hesitation, Brain reached for his belt only to realize he was unarmed. _Damn it! _He wasn't used to being unarmed and felt almost insecure without a weapon by his side. He thought about turning around and asking Rick or someone for help, but it would take up time and he wasn't ready to lower himself and ask the ex-enemy for help yet. Still silently cursing himself, Brian ran straight for the block.

* * *

"Did you hear somethin'?" Rick heard Daryl ask him.

Rick looked at Daryl curiously. "No-"

He was cut off by Beth running to them, Judith in her arms. "I heard someone scream!" she cried.

Rick instantly pulled out his gun from his belt. "Where?"

"It came from the cell block!" she informed him.

"_Shit"_, Rick cursed, and began heading down the stairs, Daryl right behind him.

"I thought we cleared the place out!" Daryl yelled, a little breathlessly.

"I did too," Rick admitted. "Damn it!"

Rick quickly wondered who else could assist him, but realized most people were unavailable. Hershel and Maggie were in Block D, tending to the recovering Glenn, Tyreese was with Sasha, Michonne was probably off killing Walkers to blow off steam, and most everyone one else was still recovering from the illness. Wait. . .

"Carl!" Rick called out, realizing he could use his son's help.

Carl came running, gun in hand, prepared. "Yeah, Dad?"

_Good boy, _Rick thought proudly at his ready son. "Come with us, there's something going on in Block B."

Carl nodded, and held his gun up higher, ready to fire if he needed to.

* * *

Brian entered Block B slowly, preparing himself in case a Biter was waiting for him. He didn't hear the usual groaning that indicated a Biter was near, in fact. . .

There was only silence.

He stepped inside the block and at first didn't see anything. Not really sure what to think of that, Brian made his way through Block B.

Then he saw her.

* * *

"Dad, it's _quiet,_" Carl said hesitantly, looking uncertainly at his father.

"Yeah, I know," Rick mumbled, standing outside of Block B with his son and Daryl. He had noticed it, too, not really wanting to say anything about it.

"Door's already open," Daryl pointed out. "I doubt there are any Walkers in there otherwise they would'a come out here."

Rick knew he was right but still stayed skeptical. "Carl, make sure you're behind me," he ordered his son, leaving no room for argument. Carl didn't protest and only nodded.

Daryl stepped inside first and Rick was close behind him, followed by Carl. At first there was nothing, but as they made their way through the block, they saw Brian and the rest of his group huddled together, completely silent as though they were in shock.

It didn't take Rick long to find out why.

He, Daryl and Carl approached the huddle hesitantly and a pool of blood came into view and in the center of it was Lilly Chambler, the mother of Meghan, her wrists slit open.

* * *

"I was on my way to the block when I heard someone scream. I ran straight here and saw everyone looking down at Lilly's body."

Rick listened to Brian's explanation carefully, making sure no detail left out.

"I didn't kill Lilly," Brian said, numbly. "Believe it or not, I actually cared for her."

"There's no doubt 'bout it Rick that she did this to herself," Daryl informed Rick, closely looking down at Lilly Chamber's body. After Rick had been able to get a hold of himself, he apologized to Brian's group and shot the woman in the head before she could come back as a Walker.

"I figured that," Rick said, more to Brian than anyone else. "I just had to make sure."

"We have to bury her!" Tara cried out, taking Rick's attention away from Brian. The young woman was clutching her girlfriend Alisha for dear life. "And please let Alisha come."

Rick realized that with everything that happened, Brian was obviously unable to tell his group about the discussion the two of them had. "Anyone who wants to can," Rick told Tara. "I told Brian that all of you can roam the prison as you please. You'll be watched and stuck with knives however, but you _do _have freedom."

Rick knew that under any other circumstance, Brian's group would be pleased by this news, but everyone was a little too occupied with the body that was currently being wrapped by Daryl and Carl. Tara watched the two of them with tear-filled eyes, clearly trying to keep it together. Rick approached her and gently said, "I'm sorry for your loss." He couldn't believe that he had already had to say that to someone from Brian's group twice when they hadn't even been at the prison for a full day yet.

Rick walked back over to where Brian was standing and watching Lilly's body get wrapped up. "She was a good woman," Brian told Rick. "She sorta reminded me of my wife the way she would do anything for her daughter."

Rick nodded, understanding what it was like to lose someone who you shared romantic feelings with. Brian may not have known Lilly for long, but there was an obvious romantic connection between the two of them, especially when it came to Meghan.

"She took the easy way out," Daryl grunted, standing up from the now wrapped body.

"She couldn't deal with the loss of her child," Brian said to Daryl, not hesitating to jump to Lilly's defense. "I was there. I know what it's like to not be able to let go."

Rick for a brief second thought Brian was referring to Meghan until he remembered hearing about his daughter that had turned into a Walker but he still kept tied and locked up. At first he thought it was a sick thing to do, and maybe it was, but then he couldn't help but wonder how he would feel if it were Carl or Judith. He lost it after he found out about Lori's death and he couldn't imagine how it would be if it were one of his children.

Daryl didn't say anything, but instead looked at Brian, clearly knowing what he was talking about, too. Michonne really didn't hesitate to inform everyone what Brian did as the Governor and how sick he really was.

"Brian," Tara spoke up. "Lilly would want you to-"

"I know," he interrupted. "And I will." Rick knew they were discussing burying Lilly's body.

"We'll leave you to it then," Rick told Brian and Tara as he started to head out of the block, gesturing for Carl and Daryl to follow.

* * *

Brian panted as he dug yet another grave outside of Cell Block B. This one had to be much larger than Meghan's and despite being in good shape, he was growing tired.

"Need some help?" Tara asked him, holding Alisha's hand. It was just the three of them out there, despite everyone being granted freedom. He guessed the rest of the group decided to give them privacy, not knowing Lilly like Tara and Brian had.

"I got it," he answered breathlessly. "I'm just about finished." A few minutes later, he was, and he and Tara grabbed the wrapped body and put it gently in the ground, right next to where Meghan was buried.

"She was my sister," Tara said as Brian began filling up the hole, covering Lilly with dirt. "I knew once the world starting going to shit that her and I would make it far because we would have each other's backs." She stopped and took a deep breath. _"I left her alone for five minutes!"_

Brian didn't say anything as comforting people really never was his best strong suit. Even as a father whenever Penny would cry he would always be a little unsure of what to do.

"I'm a piece of _shit!" _Tara exclaimed. "I shouldn't have left her alone!"

"Hey!" Alisha scolded her gently. "Don't you dare start blaming yourself for things like this, Tara. Once you do, there's no going back, you know that."

Brian was glad Alisha was comforting Lilly's sister as he was unable to. He finally finished filling up the hole and he lowered himself down to the ground both out of respect and exhaustion. He felt Tara and Alisha do the same next to him.

"I can't believe she left me alone!" Tara cried.

"You're not alone," Alisha reminded her. "You've got me, you've got _Brian._"

Brian snapped out of the haze he was beginning to fall into after Alisha mentioned his name to Tara. Lately, he had been the reason why people were grieving so it felt almost uncomfortable to be a person who people looked to for comfort after the death of a loved one. He didn't say anything though, he knew it would be inappropriate and he didn't really want to start anything at the moment.

"After her ass of a husband left, Lilly never really did try again," Tara told Brian softly. "It was like she. . . gave up." Brian still remained silent and kept his gaze on the new grave as he heard Tara continue. "You were the first person I noticed her ever getting attached to in that kind of way since Dick Face, so. . . I guess. . . thanks."

Brian stood up from the grave, unable to take Tara's speech any longer. He hadn't allowed himself to actually get fully upset over Meghan's death, not wanting to look weak in front of either of the groups, and it was the same for Lilly's. But now both loses came crashing down at him almost at once and he knew Rick and his group were all watching him and still refused to break in front of all of them.

"Brian!" Tara called after him, but he ignored her and continued to head toward the prison block, not daring to look back at Lilly's grave.

That night, Brian had slept alone, without Lilly for the first time in months.

**I know, I know, I keep torturing Mr. Villain, but I do have my reasons. I don't just like watching him suffer. . . okay I do, but that's beside the point.**

**And I do because I love him, I swear! **


	4. What's Worth the Risks

**AN: Sorry, I realized I accidentally kept the same AN in chapter three from chapter two. Oh well, you guys probably didn't even notice XD **

**Thanks again to Graeshires for another review and thanks to a guest for the "kick as" review. Loved it! It's the best compliment for a story that I've ever received! **

**Onward, my children! **

_"I saw the picture, Brian. You had a family - I know that, and I know we're not them. But for now you're stuck with us."_

Brian was pacing around the prison yard, knowing that he probably looked suspicious to Rick and his group, but he didn't really care. He was just itching for something to do, hating the fact that he hadn't been able to do shit since he entered the prison. It was only the second day of being here and already he was beginning to feel antsy. When he was in charge of Woodbury, there was _always _something to do and he felt like he was pulling his own weight but _here, _he felt useless and unneeded. Rick had explained to him that when they took over the prison, they cleaned every cell block out and took whatever they found to the main block where they were all staying which meant that in order to eat, he and his group had to acquire food from Rick.

Which he refused to do.

It wasn't because he didn't want to take food from Rick, even he wasn't that prideful. No, it was the same reason why when Lilly tried to feed him the night he had met her, he ended up scraping his food out the window. He liked to work for his food and hated receiving it without earning it.

So he continued to pace around the yard, asking himself what he could do.

* * *

"What the hell is he doing?" Maggie asked, standing next to Rick and her father.

"I have no idea," Rick answered honestly, not taking his eyes off of the pacing Brian.

"I don't like it," Maggie muttered. "He just looks like he's planning something bad."

Rick had to agree with that. He wished he could say that he trusted Brian, but he was acting highly suspicious.

"We need to see what he's up to," Maggie said.

"He just lost two people," Hershel reminded his daughter which caused her stay silent.

"Still someone should talk to him," Rick said. "He's the only one in his group who hasn't come for food."

"Maybe he's just having other people get it for him," Maggie suggested. Rick knew she was probably right.

"He's not."

Rick turned around and recognized Tara - Lilly's sister. "What do you mean?"

"I've tried," Tara admitted. "I've tried taking food to him but he doesn't eat it. I tried just not taking it back but then he just doesn't touch it. I gave up not wanting to waste food."

"He'll come around," Hershel said. "Just like everyone else in this world has had to."

"I don't think it's Lilly," Tara said, looking down. "Or Meghan."

"He's too prideful to take food from us," Rick guessed.

"I don't think it's that either. When Brian was staying in an apartment across from ours, we tried to give him food but he would scrape it out the window. I don't think he knows that Lilly and I knew, but we did. It was obvious after a while. When she went in there, she could see some sauce that got on the window sill. The lady that lived in the apartment before the world went to shit still had some canned food and he was fine eating that. I think he just likes finding it himself."

Rick sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay," he said after a while. "I guess we'll have to put him to work so he doesn't starve himself."

"He can help farm," Hershel suggested. "But we will still need to watch him."

"I'll talk to him," Rick said and went back to watching the man pace the yard.

* * *

Brian was still outside, trying to clear his head when he saw Rick approach him. _Probably wants to know why I'm out here alone and what I'm planning._

"Have you eaten?" Rick asked suddenly, surprising Brian.

"Yeah," Brian lied. He had experience convincing people everything he said was the truth and had gotten pretty good at it so he was surprised when a look of doubt crossed Rick's face.

"I know you're not," Rick stated. "I've been told otherwise." Brian didn't say anything, not really understanding why Rick was making a big deal out of it in the first place. If he wanted to starve himself, Rick should have no problem with that.

"I'll put you to work," Rick said. "You're the kind of person who likes to work for food, I get that. I'm like that too, so you can help me here on the farm."

"All right," Brian said, not really quite sure of what to think of that.

"We'll start tomorrow. Today I need to go on a run."

"For what?" Brian couldn't help but ask.

"Medical supplies," he answered. "The sick people are recovering but we could use some more fever reducer and pain meds. Also-"

"I'll do it," Brian interrupted before he could really think about what he was saying.

Rick looked at him. "I don't-"

"The apartment I was staying in with Lilly and her family," he began, not liking the way her name felt on his tongue. "There's an old folk's home nearby. It's quite a ways from here, but I can manage. It would take some time."

"Are you sure that there would be anything left?" Rick asked.

"I don't think anyone would go there for supplies," Brian answered. "Let's face it, after this all happened, the old people were probably the first to go. It was overrun before anyone would have been given the chance to collect supplies. It still is, too."

"Then what makes you think you can get through?" Rick asked, doubt obvious in his tone.

"I did it before. Lilly's dad was sick and he needed oxygen. I went to the home and got it for him. It wasn't easy, but I did." Brian knew that it wasn't the whole truth, but he it wasn't necessarily a lie either. He avoided telling Rick that out of all of the tanks that were there, he had only barely managed to grab two before having to get himself out of there.

"I can get Daryl-"

"No," Brian interrupted. "I'll go alone. It'll be easier that way."

"Look, I know you're this independent guy now, I get that, but this sounds dangerous."

"So let me risk my own life. If I'm not back, then you'll know I'm dead. I'm sure you'd rather it be me than Daryl or Michonne."

The look on Rick's face told Brian that he was right, but it didn't bother him.

"Fine," Rick said after a while. "I'll get you a car."

* * *

"Are you headed out now?" Hershel asked Rick as he entered Block A.

"I'm not going," Rick answered him.

"We need supplies," Hershel told him, looking confused.

"Brian is," Rick finished. "I guess he knows a place."

Hershel blinked a couple of times before finally saying, "well all right."

"He said he wanted to do it alone 'cause it would be easier."

"That makes sense I guess."

Rick could tell that something was on the old man's mind. "What?"

"Do you think he'll come back?"

Rick shrugged. "It's an old folks' home. He said it was overrun when he went but managed to be able to grab what he needed."

"That's not what I meant," Hershel told him.

Rick looked at him before understanding. "I don't know," he admitted. "If he wants to leave, he can; he knows that." Hershel nodded in agreement to that, but Rick still wondered if there was more to Brian going than they all knew.

* * *

Brian drove one of the trucks from Woodbury out of the prison and headed to the home. It was going to be about an hour long drive, but he couldn't care less about the length of time in fact, he was glad this gave him more time to clear his head. Whenever he and Kim would get into it, he would take his keys and go for a drive to clear his head. That's what Kim had done the last time he saw her, but it turned out she was just too angry to drive safely.

He had been thinking about his old family more often they he usually did since he left Woodbury. Maybe it was because he couldn't help but wonder how Kim would think of him if she were still watching him. She wasn't alive when the outbreak happened and ever since it did, he couldn't help but question his past religious beliefs.

But still. . . he hoped that he would be able to see his wife again someday.

Then again, his wife probably wouldn't even want to look at him. Not after what he did to Penny. Maybe she would understand that he was being naive, praying for there to be a cure for their daughters "illness", but even he could admit that what he did was sick and inexcusable.

He was left to his thoughts for about an hour until he saw the old apartment building come into view, letting him know he was close by. He sped up the truck, not wanting to look at the now abandoned building, and kept moving forward until he saw the nursing home. He stopped the truck, already hearing the incoharent sounds of the Biters coming from inside. He stepped out of the truck and checked to make sure the two pistols he borrowed from Rick and his knife were on his belt. After clarifying, he made his way to the entrance.

**WDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWD**

Michonne saw Rick sitting on the top step of the stairs in Cell Block A, holding a sleeping Judith. She couldn't help but love the fact that Rick was holding his baby girl with so much love in his eyes.

"Rick," she greeted quietly, not wanting to wake the sleeping Judith.

Rick must have sensed this and he smiled. "Don't worry, she sleeps like a rock. What is it?"

"I'm going out on a run," she informed him and already could see the disapproval in his eyes.

"We're fine on food," he reminded her. "And Brian went out for the medical supplies so you don't really need to risk your life unnecessarily."

"We always need something," Michonne protested. "Maybe I could grab Carl some comics." She smiled. "Or some stale M&Ms."

He smiled and shook his head with a slight laugh. "None of those things are actually worth risking your life for, Michonne."

"M&Ms definitely are," she disagreed jokingly. "Besides, I think Carl has been bored these past few days."

"That just means I gotta' put him to work," Rick laughed, readjusting Judith in his arms. "But I know you, and I know that when you go out on a run it's usually to clear your head more than anything else."

"I suppose," Michonne shrugged.

"What's bothering you?" Rick asked. "Brian is gone now, you can let your guard down for a little while. Maggie has."

"I know," Michonne said quickly.

"What is it?" Rick asked again.

"I think I'm the reason why we're in this mess to begin with," Michonne confessed.

Rick looked at her. "What are you talking about?"

Michonne took in a deep breath. "It was in Woodbury when Andrea and I were staying there." Lately she had been able to think and talk about Andrea much easier. "I knew the Governor was a messed up person - I think ever since the outbreak he has been. But I think I'm responsible for him completely losing it." Before Rick could ask any questions, she continued quickly. "I know you know he had a daughter before this all happened, but what you don't know what that he kept her with him in Woodbury. She was in his house." Rick gave her a look, clearly not understanding where she was going with this. "She was a Walker", she explained to him.

"He kept his turned daughter in his house?" Rick asked her.

Michonne nodded. "I found her. She was tied up and restrained. Then I turned around and he was there. The look on his face was one I didn't even know he was capable of. He was scared for his daughter and he told me she didn't need to suffer. In his eyes she wasn't a Walker, she was just a sick little girl who could get back to normal as if it were nothing more than the flu. I-" she took a deep breath. "I raised my sword and he begged me, asking me to not 'hurt his little girl'." She looked up at Rick. "I wanted to hurt him. I knew what kind of place Woodbury really was and what the Governor was capable of." She swallowed. "I put my sword through his head."

Rick looked at her. "You did the right thing-"

"The look on his face made me realize that he wasn't always the Governor. That once he used to just be Philip who had a wife and daughter." She looked down at Judith in Rick's arms and thought of Andre. "He attacked me and that's when I took out his eye with a piece of glass. I escaped and he's wanted me and this whole group dead ever since."

"Don't blame yourself," he scolded gently. "It won't do you any good, _you know that_."

"I know," she said automatically. "But it was hypocritical of me. The two Walkers that I kept on a leash were my husband and his friend."

Rick looked at her like he couldn't believe what she just said.

"And I didn't do it out of love - he did. That was the difference between him and I."

"No one except yourself blames you for any of this," Rick told her. "I can promise you that."

Michonne knew he was telling the truth but she couldn't help but shake the feeling that she could have prevented all of this from happening. If she hadn't killed Penny and allowed the Governor to realize for himself that what he was doing was sick, Andrea might still be alive, the prison might still be the way it was, and all those people the Governor killed out of rage might still be alive.

"Talk to him," Rick suggested. "Maybe let him know how you feel?"

Michonne let out a fake laugh. "Oh, you were being serious?"

Rick shook his head and smiled. "I guess not."

"I think he and I need to stay away from each other for a while," Michonne told him. "I think he knows that too because while his people have started to join us, he has stayed in Block B."

Rick shrugged. "I think he's just kind of a loner."

Michonne shrugged and then smiled. "M&Ms still sound good, though."

* * *

As soon as Brian stepped into the home, he began to question himself. Maybe taking Dixon along wouldn't have been such a bad idea after all.

The place was a little less crowded than he remembered, probably because he had to kill a great deal of them on his way out. He still saw some bodies with head wounds, leading from the door farther into the nursing home.

Him opening the door must have alerted the Biters as three headed straight for him. Thankful it wasn't a larger amount, Brian raised the knife he had in his hands and let the three Biters approach him. One who was obviously an old lady once upon a time, came at him and he stuck the knife in between her eyes, having to kick her in the chest to release the knife from her skull. The other two were just as easy to kill and he found himself thinking that this might not be as difficult as he thought.

He was wrong.

Noise from the fight alerted others and as he made his way down a hall, he saw about ten come towards him. He glanced to his right and saw a room marked 209, and opened it without hesitation.

The room was small and for a second he thought he was alone until he glanced at the bed and saw an elderly Biter laying in it, raising a weak arm while snarling. Brian knew he wasn't a threat but didn't want to just him there as a Biter, so he walked over to the bed and put his knife through the head. Brian wiped the blood off the knife onto his pants and smeared his sleeve across his now blood-stained face. He then headed to the old man's bathroom to see if he could find anything. He opened the medicine cabinet only to see prescription medication which wasn't needed back at the prison and a used toothbrush which was effeminately not needed. He closed the cabinet with a sigh. He didn't know anything about nursing homes, not having any experience with them. His mom died when he was young and his dad was an ass and not someone he would ever visit in a retirement home.

Brian headed back to the door to the room, knowing Biters were behind the door, wanting to. He put his knife back in his belt as he listened to the Biters snarl and claw at the door, knowing it would take a pistol to finish them off. He knew it would just alert more, but he didn't have much of a choice - knives took to long and there were just too many.

He held his pistol in his hand while he put the other on the doorknob and took a deep breath. He then opened the door quickly, jumping back and holding his gun up. The same ten Biters he saw earlier came into the room at once and Brian fired, easily taking them out with the gun. However, off into the distance, he heard the growling of more biters and he quickly entered another room before the Biters could see where he was headed.

He took a look around the room that was much similar to the one he was previously in except this one was obviously occupied by a lady and was more personalized. Photographs and posters - mostly of animals - were all around the room. The room also wa thankfully empty this time and he headed straight for the bathroom. Again, he found nothing and started to seriosuly doubt that the CNA's kept regular pain killers in the residents' bathrooms.

He exited the bathroom and approached the door slowly. He didn't hear any Biters behind it, so he opened the door quickly, keeping his pistol up. There were two about six feet away from him but he just hit their heads with the back of his gun.

Last time he was here, he was surrounded and he knew the large group had to be somewhere nearby. If he was lucky, he would find the room where they kept medication without running into it. He roamed the halls, finding a few Biters here-and-there, but luckily had yet to run into the herd that he knew what lurking around.

He walked further through the nursing home but stopped dead in his track when he saw a large group of knocked-over oxygen tanks. And next to them was a familiar group of Biters.

_Shit!_ He cursed to himself and tried to walk away slowly and quietly so he wouldn't alert the large group. However, one of the oxygen tanks he had previously dropped was behind him and he tripped over it, landing on the ground.

That alerted them.

"Shit!" he swore out loud this time as the herd began to approach him.

He picked himself up and mentally estimated there being about thirty Biters.

He did not like those odds.

Feeling panicked, Brian ran to the closest room he saw. He tried the doorknob only to find it locked. There was a card scanner that obviously by now wouldn't have worked so instead he raised his pistol to the door and hoped for the best as he shot it once. The door creaked open and he quickly stepped inside, hearing the Biters close behind him. He pressed his back against the now broken door and looked around the room.

There were pill bottles everywhere.

**Like I said last chapter, I do it because I love him! And I think it's funny how he is probably just 500000% done with all of this. XD**


	5. To Redeem

**AN: I've been updating quite often which is a big deal for me, so I'm proud of myself XD **  
**I figured I should update quickly considering how I left off last chapter. Brian, why do you always have to get yourself into trouble?**

**FoxfaceFan1: I almost didn't kill off Lilly, but I just couldn't resist the angst! I was sure that Brian's betrayal might have had something to do with her decision in the show, but I did it anyway. I, too hope things will get better for him soon! I just feel so sorry for him! Does that sound weird coming from me?**

**Let's move on, my children! **

"He said it would take about an hour to get there?" Hershel asked Rick as the two were working on farming.

Rick nodded. "It's been a couple of hours, so he'll probably be here soon."

"Hopefully the run went well," Hershel said. "My patients are getting better, but they still need some extra medication to recover - especially the children."

Rick nodded again and looked off into the distance. "Yeah, well let's get back to work. No point in just standing here and waiting." He bent down and continued to check the crops, wondering if Brian would return with the medication they needed.

* * *

Brian had his back pressed up against the door of the room he was trapped in in, trying to think of an escape plan. He had a bag full of medication on his shoulder and he really didn't feel like getting eaten alive today. He had already thoroughly look at the room only to find out there really wasn't any way to get out of here without opening that door. There was a vent in the ceiling that maybe Rick's son would have been able to use but certainly not a grown man.

His best bet was to find a way to power through the Biters that were trying to get in the room with him. With all of their weight on the door, he knew he wouldn't be able to hold them back any longer. He had to use a cart to hold them back while he grabbed the medication and that almost didn't work.

He took a deep breath, knowing what he had to do. His jacket was thick and leather, maybe they wouldn't be able to bite into it? He wasn't so sure and didn't want to ever have to find out. Besides. . .

He stopped as he saw rolls and rolls of medical tape. Images of a tape-covered Milton not being able to get bit flashed through his mind and as painful as they were, he was thankful for them. That had been duct-tape Milton had used, but he was sure if he used enough he would be able to create an armor the Biters wouldn't be able to rip into.

He grabbed the cart he had used to hold them back again and pressed it up against the door. It wouldn't hold them for long so he had to act quickly. He wrapped his arms and legs in the medical tape, not caring he probably looked like a ridiculous mummy. Once Brian finished creating his "armor" he slowly approached the door. Then as quickly as he could, he pulled the cart away and the door was instantly opened by all the Biters.

* * *

"Hey," Maggie greeted her husband who was laying on a bed in the sick block. "How are you feelin'?"

"Good," he said taking her hand. "How are things out there? You know, with the Governor and all?"

Maggie took in a deep breath. "I think it will be a while before I feel like I can actually let my guard down around him. I mean I know why Rick did it, and I know he had no choice, but I still can't help but feel angry."

"I get it," Glenn told her.

"You always do." She kissed him on the forehead. "He's out getting medication now, so you can rest until then."

Glenn shook his head. "I've rested all day. Hershel said those who are well enough need to help out with those who aren't. The worst of this thing is over, but some people are still too weak to help themselves. Thank God Rick is getting the medication. . ."

"It's not Rick," Maggie told him. "It's the Governor."

Glenn looked at her in surprise. "What? Why would he do that?"

Maggie shrugged. "Some of us aren't sure he's coming back and that he used this as a way to leave."

Glenn closed his eyes and sighed. "Then why did we let him go alone?"

"He wouldn't go with anyone," Maggie explained. "If you ask me, that's a little suspicious."

"I guess if he doesn't return, we'll get our answer," Glenn said. "Or he'll be dead."

"What do you think about all of this?" Maggie asked suddenly, not being able to stop herself. She visited Glenn often, but hadn't been able to ask him.

"Well if he wanted to leave then I'm sure he-"

"I meant about the Governor being here in general," he corrected. "What do you think."

"Well he did have Merle Dixon beat me to a bloody pulp if that's what you mean."

She sighed. "So you're a little uneasy about him being here, too?"

Glenn rubbed his eyes. "Is there anyone who isn't?"

"Well Daddy seems pretty comfortable with it. Same with Rick."

"Those two are practically the heads of the council," Glenn reminded her. "If the aren't z

Maggie had never really thought about it that way. "I guess you're right." She stood up. "Well I am on gate duty, so I guess I'll see you later." She turned and left, hearing Glenn call after her that he loved her.

"Love ya too!" she called back.

* * *

_Shit! _Brian thought once again as Biters began to enter the room. He had his knife in one hand and his gun in the other. _Did I really think this would end well for me?_

He shot away, but knew that the room was too small for him to back up much farther. Not really wanting to get cornered, he decided to push through the herd. He shot and stabbed left and right, feeling them grip his arms, but not being able to rip through the layers. _Did somethin' right. _

One reached for his face but he stabbed it in the head before it could even try to bite him. "Damn," he out loud as he realized he wouldn't be able to retrieve the knife. He kept pushing through the herd, shooting.

_This probably would be easier if I didn't only have one eye_, he thought as he pushed himself through, kicking and shooting any Biter that came near him. He managed to push himself through the herd and made his way into the hall, his ears ringing due to firing too close. There were still many Biters behind him, and more approaching due to the commotion. Knowing he wouldn't be able to move any farther ahead or go back behind him, he hurried into a resident's room, pushing the bed in front of the door just to be safe. He glanced around the room and let out a small, relieved sigh when he found what he was looking for: a window.

Using the back of the gun, he smashed the window into pieces. It was small, but at least large enough to be able to fit through. He placed his hands on the side of the frame to balance himself for his jump but let out a hiss in pain when a shard sliced his hand. He was thankful he was on the first floor as he jumped out of the window and easily hit the ground.

His truck was at the front entrance and he ran around the building to get to it. When it came into view he sped up his pace, just wanting to get safely inside of it and be on his way to the prison. Once he reached the truck, he pulled off the medical tape and threw the supplies in the back. He then got into the driver's side, started the truck, and began to drive back to the prison.

About five minutes into the drive, he was no longer able to keep his right hand gripped on the wheel as the pain from the cut grew more intense. Blood was still oozing from it and he wished he had taken the time to treat it before he headed back to the prison.

_Hershel might help me out,_ he decided. _Maybe he would be thankful enough for the medicine_. Although Brian figured that even if he hadn't gone out on a life-threatening run, Hershel would still probably treat him because that's just the kind of guy he is. He was the type of guy that put all things aside when it came to doing what needed to be done. That's the kind of man the Governor was trying to be except things got too out of hand. He brushed that thought away, focusing on getting the supplies back to the prison.

* * *

It had been about forty-five minutes since Rick expected Brian to have already returned. The worst part was if Brian never came back, no one would know if he actually died trying to help the group, or if he chose to run off. He really hoped it wasn't the latter.

"Dad!" Carl nudged his shoulder and pointed to the fence gates. Rick squinted against the sun and looked toward the prison entrance.

"Well I'll be damned," Rick said with a smile as he recognized the truck Brian had taken with him. "Looks like he decided to show up after all." He and his son ran to the gate entrance to make sure the gate was opened at the right time to prevent any Walkers from storming in. The two of them began pulling the massive doors open and Brian raced through the gates, coming to halt once he was inside. Rick and Carl were able to shut the doors before any Walkers came through.

The truck's door opened and Brian emerged from the vehicle, his boots landing on the gravel. Once Rick began to approach him, he saw how stained his dark clothes were with blood. Without a word, Brian reached into the back of the truck and pulled out the bag Rick had given him to collect supplies. He heard the sound of rattling and smiled with relief at the knowledge that Brian was able to grab at least _something._

"Don't go to the nursing home," Brian said seriously. Rick would've almost taken it as a joke, but Brian's eye held nothing but seriousness. "It was worse than I thought."

"What happened?" Rick asked, again looking at his blood soaked clothing. He also noticed the blood that splattered onto his face.

"It's overrun," Brian stated as though it were obvious. Rick figured it kind of was. Brian held out the bag to Rick and he glanced at it.

"I think you should take it to Hershel personally," Rick told him. "Get the credit for what you found. He's in our block but you might want to catch him before he heads over to Block D with everyone who is sick."

"All right," Brian said simply. He reached into his belt and handed Rick the two guns he had been given. "One's empty and the other is just about there. I lost the knife."

Rick nodded and took them, wondering just how bad the home really was. "Take the meds to Hershel and I'll bring the truck back." Brian nodded and headed off toward the prison.

Rick looked at his son who was standing behind him. "You can head back, too, Carl, it's gettin' late."

"Are you sure?" Carl asked him.

Rick nodded. "Yeah, go play with your sister or read a comic book." He smiled. "Or just anything that any normal teenage boy would do."

"All right," Carl agreed. He, too began to head back to the blocks, leaving Rick alone. He watched his boy leave for a while before heading over to the truck and getting into the driver's side. He started the car and put his hands on the wheel only to draw back as he touched something wet. He glanced down at his hand and saw it stained with blood. He glanced down at the wheel and saw that the blood had begun to dry up, but was still damp in some places.

"Jesus," he mumbled to himself, thinking nothing of the blood, figuring it was just left-over from killing the Walkers. Wiping his hand on his pants, he drove the truck back to where it belonged.

* * *

Brian stopped at the entrance of Block A before going inside. Everyone who hated him was in there and he wasn't sure if he wanted to face a sword-carrying Michonne. _Ah, what the hell, _he thought as he stepped inside. It wasn't like he could avoid seeing everyone forever.

Not that he really planned on staying at the prison forever.

"Brian," he was instantly greeted by a surprised Hershel who was coming down the stairs as quickly as he could with his fake leg. Just behind him on the second floor was his blonde daughter who he didn't know the name of and Daryl Dixon. The blonde was carrying a newborn - one he knew to be Rick's.

Brian didn't say anything but instead walked farther into the block, ignoring the glares of Daryl Dixon. Once Hershel was down the stairs, Brian handed him the bag of medication, ignoring the shocked look on the old man's face.

"Thank you, Brian, I appreciate this more than you could ever imagine." He extended his left hand and Brian looked down at it with dread, knowing what he wanted. He would have accepted the token of gratitude if it weren't for the fact that you extend the hand opposite of the other person.

That he couldn't do.

"All right," Hershel retracted his hand, looking uncomfortable. He glanced down at Brian's hand and the look instantly changed. "You could of just said something." He took Brian's hand without question and Brian held back a wince.

"It was glass," he explained.

"This is a nasty cut, Brian," the older man pointed out. "And you didn't treat it." Hershel set the bag of medication down, his attention fully on Brian.

"I was kind of preoccupied," Brian told him. "I had Biters on my tail."

Hershel shook his head. He was about to say something when Brian heard the door open and Rick's son Carl came into the block. "Carl," Hershel called out to the young boy. "I have bandages up in my room. Go get them quickly , please."

Without questioning him, Carl ran up the stairs. Hershel focused his attention back on Brian. "How did you cut it?" he asked curiously.

"Biters were after me," Brian explained. "I cut it jumping out of a window."

Hershel shook his head. "I'm sorry this caused you so much trouble." Carl approached him with the bandages and he accepted them with thanks. "Come farther into the light," Hershel ordered. With slight hesitation, Brian stepped even deeper inside the prison until he was at the bottom of the stairs. He could feel the blonde daughter and Daryl Dixon watching.

"No," Hershel muttered. "I can't put a bandage on this - it's just too infected." The news didn't surprise Brian as the window was filthy to begin with and he didn't bother to treat it, despite already being covered in dirt and grime.

"You need anything, Daddy?" the blonde daughter asked carefully, looking at Brian with curiosity, the baby still in her arms fast asleep.

Hershel sighed. "I need to clean this," he told both his daughter and Brian. "Beth, honey, I have some antiseptic in my room somewhere, can you please grab it?" she nodded and quickly ran up to Daryl Dixon, handing him Rick's baby. Brian was surprised at the gentleness that instantly took over the man's face despite the fact he had just been glaring deadly at Brian no more than five seconds ago.

"Children bring out the best in people - it's a fact," Hershel interrupted his thoughts by speaking up. Brian looked at him, knowing what he said had more than one meaning. "My daughters certainly bring out the best in me," he said as Beth brought him what he asked. She smiled sweetly at him.

"Anythin' else, Daddy?" she asked him.

"That would be it, sweet-heart," he dismissed her.

Brian watched him leave, wondering what Penny would have been like once she had reached Beth's age. When Penny was alive, he dreaded the days of her growing up and becoming a teenager and eventually having to move on with her life; now he wished he could have seen it.

An intense sting brought him back to reality - the world where his daughter is long dead and will never reach her teenage years.

"Sorry," Hershel apologized. "This is a nasty cut, Brian, bandages won't do the trick. You're going to need stitches."

"All right," Brian said, having no idea that it was that bad.

"Follow me," he ordered, heading upstairs. "I have everything we'll need up here."

"For what?" Rick's voice came from behind him. Brian turned around, not even realizing he had entered the block.

"I need to stitch the cut on Brian's hand," Hershel explained to him, beckoning Brian over. "I have what I need in my room - we'll just do it there."

"You cut your hand?" Rick asked Brian as Brian slowly followed Hershel up the stairs to the second floor in the prison.

Brian didn't answer him, not really feeling like it was necessary to answer such an obvious question. Instead he followed Hershel into his room.

"It's funny how I have all these medical supplies, but none of what we really needed," Hershel smirked. "Bed."

"What?"

"Sit on the bed."

Brian did as he was told, feeling uncomfortable. "Thank you." The words fell out of his mouth without him intentionally allowing them to.

"I owed you one," Hershel responded. "You risked your life for _my _patients."

"Most of them are from Woodbury-" he stopped and looked down, not wanting to see Hershel's face after he said that. Why _did _he say that?

Hershel thankfully didn't say anything but instead took his hand and began to work on stitching it. "Hopefully this will teach you not to leave a wound untreated - another thing you and Rick have in common."

_"Another thing you and Rick have in common." _How many times was he honestly going to hear people say that? What were they trying to get at? Were they saying that he was _like Rick_? Why was it that everyone saw it except for him?

"I always have to tend to his ignored injuries," Hershel continued, but Brian was only half paying attention. He was too busy focusing on keeping a straight face from the pain.

"Daddy?" a voice called.

"In here, Maggie!" Hershel shouted.

_Shit! Her? It can't be the blonde one? She doesn't seem to totally hate me. . . _

"Daddy, when is Brian getting here? The people need-" she stopped abruptly as she came into the room and saw Brian. "Oh."

"Brian is injured," he explained to his daughter as the look of anger and discomfort appeared on her face.

"You didn't get what we needed?" Maggie demanded.

"Downstairs on the floor," Hershel answered. "I dropped it when I saw his hand."

Maggie's expression changed. "What did you grab?"

"I didn't know the symptoms," Brian began. "I know you guys needed a fever reducer so I grabbed some of that. I head some coughing coming from the block so I grabbed some syrup. There's also just general pain medication. I know you said you had sick kids here, but it was a nursing home so they didn't really have medication for children."

"We'll give them half a dose of the regular," Hershel said.

"I'll do it," Maggie told her father.

"Great," Hershel said. "Have Glenn and Sasha help you if they're up for it. And Tyreese is down there, too I believe."

Maggie nodded and headed for the door. She stopped suddenly and mumbled under her breath, "thanks, Governor," before leaving.

Brian knew she wasn't referring to him by his old title out of spite, but he still had to hold back a wince as it was spoken out loud.

"She'll come around," Hershel promised, continuing to stitch his hand. "She always does."

"All right," Brian said.

* * *

"I was wrong," Maggie announced, dropping the bag of medication at Glenn's feet. "He really did it."

Glenn smirked. "Wow. He actually did it."

Maggie shook her head and sighed. "And I was being a bitch to him."

Glenn mocked surprise. "You were not!"

She smiled. "I know, I know, real shocker there, ain't it?" she sighed and wrapped her arms around him. "Are you well enough to help out?"

"Always," he promised. "Sasha is, too."

"Great." She began to dug through the bag. "He really did good stocking up, didn't he?" she sighed again, feeling her own smile drop. "Make sure everyone knows it was Brian who did all of this."

"Since when do you care?" Glenn teased with another smirk.

"I have no idea."

**Sorry, all this information about nursing homes is probably inaccurate, but I did my best. My mom worked at a nursing home and all of the information I had came from what she used to tell all of us when she would come home from work. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed yet another chapter of pointless angst and misery from Brian. *Sigh* I am so evil, and I love it! Also, sorry this chapter took a little longer to post. I was busy. . . Okay that was a lie. I really wasn't, I was just outside jogging. . . okay, that also was a lie. I was watching Supernatural, happy? **

**That's what I thought. **


	6. Outcast

**AN: Whoa, did not expect this story to be this long. I gotta be honest with you, I'm not the kind of person who writes out rough-drafts and makes charts and all that so I am totally just making this up as I go along. I have major writer's block on this, so this will probably all just be nonsense. **

**Thanks again to FoxfaceFan1 for another great review! **

**THIS CHAPTER COMES FROM MY MIND AS WELL AS THE MIND OF FOXFACEFAN1! SHE KINDLY MESSAGED ME IDEAS WHEN I WAS STUCK, AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE GREAT SO I DECIDED TO USE THEM! **

**All right, then. Let's carry on! *mutters quickly under breath* "My Wayward Son"**

Brian trekked his way through the forest outside of the prison, knowing that this was what he needed to do. Rick seemed understanding - maybe even a little relieved? Brian made Rick's group uncomfortable, that much was obvious. Michonne, Maggie, and Daryl were all unable to make eye contact and when they did, it was just deadly glares.

_I'll form another camp, _Brian thought. _Maybe even a town. Make a safe place for people, and this time I won't screw everything up. What I had in Woodbury was perfect, and I want to feel like that again. _

As hard as it was to believe, Brian didn't actually start the community Woodbury with the intention of killing all of it's residents. The idea behind Woodbury was what he told everyone - a safe place for those who need one.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Biters nearby. Pulling out the gun Rick so graciously gave him, he waited for the Biters to come into sight. Eventually they did, but there were way too many to take on alone.

Lowering the gun, Brian turned around to head back the other way, but found his path blocked.

_Damn it!_

_**Earlier that day. . . **_

Brian was alone in Cell Block B like he usually was since Rick granted everyone freedom to run about the prison as they please. Just yesterday he had risked his life while on a supply run for the prison and had almost died in the process. He had hoped at the time that it would make him feel more comfortable around the residents of the prison and maybe even show his face in front of Michonne, Maggie, and Daryl without receiving glares.

He had been wrong.

Even after he had showed up with the medication, Daryl still looked as though he wanted to jump over the railing on the second floor, land on Brian, and then put a knife through his brain. . . actually, he would probably stab Brian in the chest so he could kill him twice. Then there was Maggie who seemed to still despise him but grateful for the medication nonetheless. Finally, there was Michonne. Brian knew her hatred toward him will always be the strongest, and she probably would treat him much like Daryl and Maggie if it weren't for the fact that she went out of her way to not run into him.

He knew that he wouldn't ever call this place home, but he had hoped he would be able to stay a little longer. However, as time progressed, he was just feeling more and more uncomfortable around everyone. Not wanting to take a second more of it, he had made up his mind: he was leaving the prison.

* * *

Judith cooed in Rick's arms and he smiled holding her closer to his chest.

"I have the formula," Beth announced, walking up to him, bottle in her hand.

"Thank you," Rick said, taking it from her and began to feed Judith.

"She's gettin' bigger," Beth observed with a smile. "And heavier."

"I know," Rick laughed. "An' before we all know it, she'll be your size." There were definite unspoken words hanging in the air after Rick said that, but no one would dare ever say them out loud.

"Uh. . . Dad?" Carl's voice came from behind him. He turned around and saw his son pointing down the stairs. He followed his son's gaze and his eyes fell on Brian at the entrance of the block.

"Take Judith?" Rick asked Beth, his eyes not leaving Brian. He didn't have to ask her twice, the young girl gladly took Judith in her arms.

"I didn't think Brian came in here," Carl whispered to his dad.

"He doesn't." Rick headed down the stairs and stood in front of Brian, the other man's facial expression entirely unreadable.

"What can I do for ya?" Rick asked cautiously.

"I'm moving on, Rick," Brian told him, his one eye meeting Rick's gaze. "I'm not staying in this prison any longer."

"Are you sure?" Rick asked.

"I'm not going to return," Brian said. Rick figured that he was confirming that he wouldn't plan yet another attack on the prison.

"All right," Rick said after a while. "Thanks for yesterday." He reached into his own belt and pulled out a pistol. "Take this at least. I'm sure you'll find more on the road."

"I don't doubt it." Brian took the gun from Rick and without another word, left the prison block. Rick wanted to call after him, feeling as though their good-bye wasn't all that satisfying until he realized there was no need. He knew Brian was going to eventually leave, but he had hoped he would at least stick around for a while and allow people to get to know him. He hadn't even talked to a single person from Woodbury while he was here. Granted there were very few left ever since the sickness spread. . .

"So, he's leaving?" Carl asked from behind him.

Rick didn't look at his son. "Yeah, he's leaving."

_**Back to the present . . . **_

Brian watched as Biters swarmed him. He fired his gun, shooting them in the head and watching them fall to the ground. The worst part about all of this wasn't dying, but the fact that he was going to die right next to where Rick and his group live. Eventually someone would find him as a Biter, and see that he hadn't even made it fifty feet away from the prison. He watched the Biters come in closer. Scratch that, there wasn't going to be any part of him left to find.

He heard another shot, without even realizing he had fired his gun again in the first place. A Biter fell to the ground revealing that he in fact hadn't, but it was Rick.

"Didn't make it far did you?" Rick asked, firing again. Brian thought about replying but before he could make his decision, an arrow flew past his head and went through a Biter's head. He didn't have to turn around to recognize that the arrow had indeed come from Daryl Dixon. He then heard the cringe-worthy sound of a Biter getting sliced and knew it more than likely came from Michonne's katana blade.

"Damn it!" Brian finally turned around and saw a Biter had grabbed Daryl Dixon by the shoulder and was pulling him close. Brian snapped out of his haze and shot the Biter in the head, causing it to release it's prey and fall to the ground. Daryl Dixon looked at Brian with eyes that were entirely unreadable, and he didn't blame him. It was surreal that just a few days ago, Brian had his men outside of the prison with a tank and heavy fire-power and yet here everyone was, saving his life. Why?

He didn't have time to try to answer his own question because he heard a Biter moan from behind him and he viciously bashed it's head in with his gun. Soon enough, the Biters were killed off, leaving Brian staring at the three of them. No one talked for a while, probably not knowing what to say, but eventually Rick spoke up.

"There's a reason why no matter what, you always found yourself with someone, Brian. No one can make it out there alone - no one."

Brian knew he was right. He hadn't really planned on staying alone, but he didn't tell Rick that. At this point it didn't really matter.

"I know the prison won't ever be a permanent home for you, but stick around until you know for sure that you won't get yourself killed before you can even leave the area."

Brian looked at Rick, knowing the only reason why he had been so welcoming was because he felt like he had something to make up for.

_"We've all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive!" _Rick's words echoed through his mind. Hershel had also explained to Brian that Rick had changed. If it weren't for the fact that Rick felt like he needed to prove himself, he probably wouldn't have been so welcoming. _Maybe this is why I seem to always remind everyone of Rick. . . we both have to make up for what we've done in the past, and will do anything to do so. Even if it means dying in the process. _

"All right," was all Brian said. He looked over at Daryl Dixon and Michonne.

"We heard shots and knew that you wouldn't have fired unless you really needed to," Rick explained, apparently seeing his confused expression. "Daryl and Michonne were the ones that were with me."

Nothing more was spoken out loud, so eventually the three headed back to the prison. Once they got there, Rick stopped him before he could make his way to Block B.

"Wait, I need to ask you something." Brian just looked at him, so Rick continued. "If you're not much of a farmer, I have something else you could do for us and feel free to say no if you don't want to do it."

That peaked Brian's interest, and he told him, "go on."

"We need someone here for the kids," Rick sighed. "Carol is. . . gone and she was the one who would always take care of them. Some of them have parents, but there are also many of them that lost their parents when the sickness hit. We have about thirteen left from Woodbury and four of them are kids without parents."

Brian didn't know what to say. He was surprised Rick trusted him with children after everything that has happened between them.

"I would understand why you wouldn't want to," Rick said gently. "I'm not going to pressure you into doing anything. It's just an idea."

"Okay," Brian found himself saying before he could actually give the idea much thought. As soon as he said it, he wished he had given himself a night to think about it."

Rick looked relieved. "Go talk to Hershel."

"All right."

* * *

"I am so relieved that someone is going to take care of these kids," Hershel said. The two were in Cell Block D where everyone who was recovering from the illness stayed. "These kids are so young and to think that they had to endure all of this at their age. . ."

Brian never thought about what it must be like to watch the world crumble when you're just a kid. He thought about Rick's newborn who would never see the world the way it used to be.

"Ever since Rick kicked Carol out of the group, these kids really haven't had anyone."

"Why did he kick her out?" Brian asked curiously.

"She made a decision that wasn't hers to make," the older man said quickly. Brian knew it was probably much more complicated, but he didn't ask any more questions.

"Hershel, can I go see my sister?"

Brian turned around and saw a young girl with a loose braid wearing a purple striped shirt.

"Of course you can, Lizzie, everyone here can leave if they feel strong enough." Brian watched her smile and knew she looked vaguely familiar.

"Her and her sister came from Woodbury with their father," Hershel explained to him, apparently seeing the way he was looking at her. He wondered why her father didn't go off into war with him then when they first attacked the prison. He must have been old or ill at the time.

"Her father was bitten," Hershel informed him. "It's just her and her little sister."

"You're the Governor," Lizzie stated. It clearly wasn't a question, so Brian didn't say anything. "I remember watching you give speeches all the time."

"I did," Brian said. "You can call me Brian though, okay?"

"You don't want to be called Governor anymore?" she asked. "My dad told me and Mika that if we ever saw you, we had to call you Governor."

"That's not the way it is anymore."

"Okay." With one last look at Hershel, she ran off, probably to find her sister.

"I think it will take some time for everyone at Woodbury to get used to this," Hershel told him.

"You're right," Brian agreed.

"I'll introduce you to the other kids."

* * *

Brain walked out of Block D after meeting the other kids he was going to watch over. He couldn't get what Lizzie said out of his mind. He wondered what it must have been like to be a civilian in Woodbury and have a leader like the Governor. He didn't think about it for long because he heard someone quietly approaching him.

"I need to speak with you, Governor." There was only one person who could put so much venom into that one simple word. . .

"Michonne." He turned around. "Well I'm sorry, he's not here."

Her eyes narrowed. "Rick suggested that I talked with you. I wasn't going to for a while but I figured I don't have long before you decide to get yourself killed.

Brian felt himself smile. "You have the floor, Michonne."

"I know that what I did caused you to be what you are."

"What?"

"You heard me, and I will not be repeating myself."

Brian looked at her in surprise then looked away. "I don't want to talk about Penny."

"I never said you had to."

He shook his head. "If this is some way of apologizing, then you'll be relieved to hear that I don't want you to." He took a deep breath. "I told you before that I get it now. I know what Penny was and I know what you did was something I should have done a long time ago. I kept trying to convince myself that she was sick even though I killed Biters that were exactly like her every day. I purposely blinded myself so I wouldn't have to face the truth. If that makes me pathetic in your eyes, so be it."

"It wasn't my place to make the decision for you," she pointed out. "Everyone needs to be allowed to take their time with their own losses."

Brian nodded. "I accept your apology."

She glared. "I never said I was apologizing."

"You didn't need to."

**I know, I know, you guys waited days for this chapter only to get 2,000 words full of disappointment. Thanks again to FoxfaceFan1 for the ideas. **

**I know that Lizzie and Mika probably never came from Woodbury, but the idea just popped in my mind, and let's face it, this story couldn't possibly get any more AU anyway. . . **

**Maybe I should just bring Dale back to life because I just miss him all the time XD**


	7. Another Mother

**AN: I cannot express how sorry I am that I haven't updated in weeks! I don't even have an excuse, that's the worst part, I just haven't been feeling very write-y lately. :P Sorry! I am actually thinking about wrapping this up in a couple of chapters because I am losing faith in myself and I know that if I were to try to keep on writing, it would never get done. **

**NTA Fanfic: This story isn't based off of the comics in case you didn't notice. This is based off of the television series. I know that in the books Penny was his niece, but in the television show, she **_**was **_**his daughter. Philip even whispers, "Daddy still loves you" and when Michonne is about to kill her he says, "Don't hurt my little girl." Plus, the creators of the show announced that they changed the relationship to make it more dramatic and a more intense connection between the two of them. Also, Brian isn't his real name in the show either. After he burned Woodbury to the ground, he saw a building with "Brian Heriot" written all over it, so when Lilly asked him his name he told her it was Brian. Sorry if you were confused, but I thought it was pretty obvious that this wasn't based off of the books. I have visited your official profile and I love your picture! **

**FoxfaceFan1: Sorry about the gender confusion! XD And those two certainly are working on it, aren't they? **

**Thanks to a guest reviewer! Glad you're enjoying the story. **

**Graeshires: He's still alive in our hearts, don't you worry! And about the whole Brian/Governor thing, hmm. . . interesting idea. . . **

**Legionary Prime: Oh golly gosh, I don't know! Terminus for sure is a no. But Abraham and friends? Hmm. . . **

"How did you hurt your eye?" Lizzie asked Brian as the two sat in Block D.

"Glass."

"How did you hurt your hand?" She glanced down at his still bandaged hand.

"Glass."

"Why do you always hurt yourself with glass?" she asked him curiously.

"Bad habit I guess," Brian shrugged, not really knowing how else to answer that question. Was he supposed to tell her Michonne took out his eye with a shard of glass because they were trying to kill each other? And tell her he cut his hand on glass when he jumped out of a window to escape from Biters that were about to tear him into pieces? He wasn't entirely sure how old Lizzie was, and he didn't think he needed to ask.

Two days ago Hershel had asked Brian to look after the kids who don't have any parents - especially Lizzie and Mika. The two girls almost seemed uncomfortable around him and he didn't blame them either. Apparently they had come from Woodbury so they still see him as the Governor and not Brian.

Spending time with all of these kids wasn't easy for him, either. It seemed as though every time he allowed himself to become close to someone, they died. The worst part was most of them were his fault. Kim's death was his fault because he had been the one to make her angry before she decided to go out for a drive. He should have been able to protect Penny, but he failed her, so his daughter's death was on him, too. Meghan would still be alive if it weren't for the fact that Brian had left her and her mom alone to go attack the prison. That also means Lilly's death is on him.

And he flat out murdered Merle, Milton and Andrea.

"Aren't you leaving today?" Lizzie asked. He had completely forgotten that the little girl had been in the room with him.

"I'm not _leaving_, just going out on a run. I guess Rick needs some stuff for Judith and he wanted me to do it."

"Are you going to hurt yourself with glass this time?" Lizzie asked.

Brian couldn't help but smile. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

* * *

"You sure you can do this alone?" Rick pressed, sounding hesitant.

"I am," Brian assured the man, not really wanting to go on a run with anyone. Last time may had been a close call, but he didn't necessarily want to spend several hours alone with Daryl and Judith either.

"I promise this is the last time I will ask you to do this. Maggie and Glenn usually do it, but both of them are helping in Block D and Michonne is already out looking for food."

"I don't mind," Brian told him.

"If you cut your hand, _clean it!" _Brian heard Hershel order as he walked up to the two of them.

"All right," Brian said to the old man. "I will." He turned to Rick. "What did you say Judith needed?"

"Formula is running low, she's growing and could use bigger clothes, and anything else you

"I'll do what I can."

Rick nodded. "I'll get the truck ready."

* * *

Brian was almost relieved to be back in the truck alone again without the feeling of everyone staring at him, silently judging him. They tried to be discreet about it, but Brian wasn't stupid. He knew everyone - including the group he came with - was just waiting for him to snap and become the Governor again.

He stopped the truck when he saw a small town come into view. He wasn't sure how empty it was on both supplies and Biters, but he had to check. He stepped out of the truck and grabbed his two guns and knife and put them in his belt. Shutting the truck door quietly, he stopped and listened for any sign of Biters.

Nothing.

Well at least they weren't wondering the streets. He had no doubt that there were some in the buildings, but he would worry about that later.

He walked up to the first house he saw and listened for any noise. When he didn't hear anything, he slowly opened the door. The house was surprisingly clean which told him that the owners probably weren't around when the world went to shit, otherwise it would have been turned upside down when the residents were fratically packing and heading off to a safe place. However, he also didn't hear any Biters which told him that someone had already come by here looking for supplies. All he could do was hope that whoever it was didn't have a newborn baby.

He headed up the white stair case, looking for a nursery. It didn't seem like the owners of the home had a small baby, but that didn't mean that they didn't have baby clothes still laying around. Brian had still kept all of the things Penny had when she was a baby, and he knew other parents did the same thing. So instead of heading to the room that looked like a teenager lived in, Brian headed off to the parents' room.

He stepped into the room and thought about himself. He instantly crouched down on the floor and looked under the bed. Sure enough he saw a large box that when he pulled out from underneath the bed, he saw was labeled, "Nadina". He unfolded the flaps of the box and saw many baby clothes and toys. He took out all of the pictures he saw and decided to just take the box, saving the bag for when he found formula. He folded up the box and began to head back to the truck so he could the box in the back and continue to look for formula.

* * *

"Hey, Dad!" Carl tapped Rick on the shoulder and pointed to the massive doors keeping the Walkers out of the prison. Rick smiled as he heard the trotting of a horse and as Michonne came into view.

"All right, Carl, let's go!" Rick exclaimed running to the gates. The two of them opened the doors just in time for Michonne to slip through without Walkers entering. Michonne hopped down from the horse, smiling brightly.

"I know that look," Rick teased. "M&Ms?"

"You know it," she laughed. She dug into her bag and pulled out a large stack of comic books and handed them to Carl. "You're lucky these are so easy to find."

"Thank you!" Carl exclaimed.

"I don't think comic books were a major priority when people were packing their things and looking for a way out," Rick pointed out.

"That's true," Michonne agreed. "He's lucky he's not into romance novels."

"Because those are priority?"

"Always."

Rick laughed and looked at Michonne. "Carl why don't you go read in the block?"

"All right. . ." he trailed off and looked between his dad and Michonne. When his son was gone, Rick pulled his attention back to Michonne.

"Thank you for everything," he said. "You're the only person who can really make him happy."

Michonne shrugged. "I guess it just comes natural to me."

Rick knew there was more to her story but decided not to ask any questions. She would tell her stories when she was ready.

"I also wanted to thank you for your cooperation throughout all of this. I know out of everyone this is hardest on you and Daryl. You've done really well."

"What makes you think I am cooperating?"

"I know that you and him have been trying to make nice."

"How so?"

Rick smiled. "You don't seem as uncomfortable around each other anymore."

Michonne looked down at the ground. She was quiet for a little while before finally speaking up again. "I apologized for killing his daughter."

"What did he say?"

"That he knew it had to be done."

Rick sighed. "You weren't wrong to do it, Michonne. I might have been able to do it myself."

"No," she argued. "You wouldn't have." With that, she began to walk away from Rick, not even looking back.

* * *

Brian searched through house after house but still hadn't found formula. There weren't many houses left and he was starting to believe that he wouldn't find any at all. The house he was currently in now had to have made at least thirty he had searched through. . .

His thoughts stopped as he heard footsteps downstairs. He had thoroughly searched the home for Biters and had shut the door so that could only mean. . .

Without any further hesitation he pulled out his gun and slowly exited the nursery he was in and headed into the long hallway that lead to the stairs. Before he reached them, he stopped making sure that he hadn't been hearing things before; another squeak of the floorboards clarified that he indeed hadn't.

The footsteps were definitely human as he had suspected and the person was clearly scoping the place out in search of Biters. Brian really wasn't in the mood to deal with another human right now, especially one that could potentially also have a gun and want to shoot him. However, this house was large and he was on the second floor, so as fun as jumping out of yet another window sounded, he knew it wouldn't be a possibility.

The footsteps were coming closer and they sounded more heavy which told him the person was now coming up the stairs and would soon be right in front of him. He knew he would want the upper hand and in order to have that, he _had _to be the first one to reach the other person. Without another second of pause, Brian jumped up from where he had crouched down and hurried to the top of the stairs, his gun raised at the person. This was a feeling much too familiar for comfort.

"Put the gun down now."

The woman who he had the gun aimed at did so without a moment of hesitation. What else could you do in the situation? But there was something else in the woman's eyes. . .

"You're The Governor, right?" The woman said, fear in her voice.

That's when Brian understood.

* * *

"So Andrea told you about me, huh? I don't know whether or not I should be flattered."

"At the time she was on _our_ side," the woman shot back. "She didn't have a whole lot of good things to say about you, in fact she even told us she was going to kill you in your sleep."

"So why didn't she?" Brian asked her. The two of them were now downstairs in the kitchen. Brian had lowered his gun but he kept his ready in his hand and her's beside him just in case.

"Andrea was naive - we all knew that."

Brian shook his head. He needed to change the subject fast. "What did you say your name was again?"

"Carol."

"That's right, Andrea did tell me about you, too. All good things of course."

"And was this before or after you started tainting her mind with your tricks?" Carol demanded, voice filled with venom.

"Well after of course. Before she just couldn't stand me-" he was interrupted by Carol coming closer and slapping him across the face. He quickly straigtened up and took a step back before she could try anything like taking his or her gun. He didn't complain, he knew he deserved it.

"Fierce, aren't ya? Rick was a fool; the prison could use you."

Carol froze. "What the hell are you talking about? Y-you took it over?"

Brian looked at her. "Certainly tried to."

She shook her head. "I don't understand. . ."

"I didn't expect you to at first." Brian put his gun on the counter beside the him and pushed her's back with his foot. "It's a long story, you might want to sit down." Carol didn't move, so he continued on anyway. "After everything happened, I burned Woodbury to the ground."

"You did?" Carol asked as though she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I did," he confirmed. "I wanted a new start. I didn't know where to go but I eventually came across this family in an apartment building." He hated talking about Lilly and Meghan, but he wasn't sure how to tell the story without them coming up. After all, it was the two of them that really changed him. "This woman had a daughter named Meghan and a sister named Tara. Their father needed an oxygen tank, but the two of them weren't going to be able to do it, they didn't even know how to kill the damn Biters so I went for them. After I came back they all looked at me differently, like I could trust them. So I stayed with them until after their father eventually passed away. After that, we moved on."

"How did you end up at the prison?" Carol asked him, sounding genuinely interested in his story.

"That was my idea," he admitted. "Lilly, Meghan, Tara and I found another group and I," he paused. "I eventually became the leader of that group after some incidents and told everyone about the prison. Very few of them actually wanted to kill anyone for territory, but I managed to talk them all into it telling them that it was for the better of our group."

"How could you do something like that?" Carol demanded. "How could you tell people something like that?"

"I wanted my group to be safe, but deep down I knew what it really was all about. I was blinded by my hatred and need for vengeance."

"I still don't-"

"I took Michonne and Hershel." He ignored Carol's gasp and look of pure hatred and continued. "And after building up enough fire power, I took the two of them and my group down to the prison to talk to Rick. I told him that if I got the prison, I wouldn't kill anyone else. Rick, however, wasn't willing to give it up and it looked like he was never going to so I raised a sword up to Hershel's throat. That sure changed things. I was going to take the man's head off without even thinking twice about it, but then Rick told me that I could stay at the prison _with _him. I didn't believe him at first, until he told me something I will never forget."

"What did he say?" Carol asked.

Brian spoke Rick's words that will forever be with him. _"If you walk through those doors, you become one of us. Nobody has to die. Everyone is alive right now, everyone has made it this far. We have all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive. We are not too far gone."_

"And that . . . changed you?"

"There's not a man I can think of that wouldn't be changed by a speech like that. After Rick spoke those words, I dropped the sword and my group has been living with his in that prison ever since."

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" She asked this question despite her eyes telling him she truly believed what he was saying.

"Lizzie and Mika are doing just fine."

That was all Carol needed to hear before she walked back and fell into a chair behind her. "They-they're safe?"

"Yes."

Carol smiled. "I felt so responsible for them. I was the one that killed their father after he was bit. I was there while they said good-bye." She looked at Brian. "Lizzie is doing better? She was sick when I left and she was so scared. . ."

"She's fine now."

"When I was there the sickness really wiped the kids out. This girl Meghan, how old is she? Is she making friends with the two girls? The two of them could really use someone."

"Meghan got bit while I took the group to the prison," he explained quickly not able to look into her eyes, knowing he would see nothing but pity which he hated."

"Oh God, I'm sorry," she apologized. "And this Lilly woman, she must be feeling horrible. I lost my daughter and I know how it leaves a feeling of pure emptiness in your heart."

"She didn't have to feel it for long," Brian told her. "She killed herself that night."

Carol looked down at the ground. "I am so sorry, Governor-"

"It's Brian, and don't feel sorry for me. I don't need it."

Carol looked up at him in disaproval. "I don't care who you are, but everyone needs sympathy every now-and-then. I used to hate it when someone would give it to me after Sophia died, until I finally realized it felt nice."

"I'm looking for formula," Brian changed the subject. "I haven't had any luck. Have you seen any?"

Carol shook her head. "But I'll certainly help you look."

* * *

It had been hours since he had left and it felt nice to finally be approaching the prison. After a long while of searching, they had finally found a stash of formula for Judith that should last her a while. Although for the first time since he arrived at the prison, he wasn't returning alone. Carol was in the passenger seat next to him, still looking unsure. She had explained to him Rick didn't want her there for reasons she didn't want to say and he replied with telling her that if Rick was all right with _him _staying there, he shouldn't mind Carol's company. Carol had only mumbled under her breath something about her "not holding up a sword to Hershel's head to help her case" but Brian ignored it and Carol didn't say anything after it.

The gates opened and Brian hit all the Biters he could with his truck to prevent any from getting in. Once the doors were shut, Brian drove the truck just a little bit farther into the prison before stopping it. He saw Rick running toward him and he heard Carol draw in a breath.

Brain got out of the truck when it was clear Carol needed a little more time. He headed for the back and pulled out the box and the formula and handed them to a breathless Rick.

"Here ya go, this should last her."

"I really appreciate this, Brian, honestly. I-" he stopped as the sound of a truck door slamming shut sounded out. Rick looked past Brian to see who it was that had been in the truck. Brian turned and watched Rick as he made eye contact with Carol.

**That took so long and I am so sorry! It wasn't that great of a chapter anyway. I am going to start a new story (because I am inspired and I don't want to lose it) so I am sorry if this gets updated less often than it used to. I used to update every 24 hours, but I guess that won't be happening anymore. :P**


	8. Of Mice and Biters

**AN: Oh god I don't even have an excuse! I am so sorry! It's a school night but I will not stop writing this chapter until it's done, even if that means leaving it off in a horrible place. I had to read the last two chapters because I haven't updated in so long. I am so sorry, I really am! I just have been so busy (no I haven't), and couldn't find time to write this (that's a big fat lie), and I'm so sorry! **

**Harley Lunatic: I am so sorry I don't even know what to say. Well. . . I'm updating now? **

**FoxfaceFan1: I feel most guilty about you because you've been with this story since the beginning and you've been so patient with me. I am so sorry! And by the way, still waiting on a story from you! **

**Sin59: FAVORITE REVIEW EVER! I AM A TOTAL BASTARD WITH HIM AND I LOVE DOING IT! And as for the first part of your review. . . *cringes* **

**Guest: . . . sorry**

**Poptart: Working on it **

**Guest: Well. . . about that "soon" part. . . **

**Guest: Aha! A review that isn't from a bazillion years ago! I feel less guilty about answering this one: thank you so much! And I've always wondered, too! He was so close, my god! Plus, Hershel lives! YAY!**

**Onward! **

"Go ahead, Rick," Carol said softly, watching the man pace. "Yell. If you need to." They were back inside the block, empty as Rick asked everyone to clear out. Brian watched the two through his one eye, curious why Rick asked him to stay and curious about what he would say to Carol now that it was just the three of them.

"I'm not going to yell at you, Carol," Rick sighed, but even to Brian it looked like he certainly wanted to.

"Then what _are _you going to do?" Brian asked him, not being able to take Rick's silence for any longer. He shouldn't be able to leave Carol just sitting their, biting her nails, anxiously waiting as Rick decided her fate.

"You shut up!" Rick snapped at Brian, but Brian didn't flinch. "Since when do you make decisions for this group?"

Brian didn't point out that some of "this group" were from Woodbury, and he had made decisions for them long before Rick had. Instead he calmly asked, "What decision is it that I've made. I brought her here, nothing more."

Rick snarled at him before turning to face Carol. "I told you to leave."

"And I respected that," Carol responded cooly.

"If you can invite me in here, you can invite her back," Brian spoke up again. "I don't know what she's done, but it can't be half as bad as what I've done."

"I'll tell Tyreese," Carol told Rick, ignoring Brian. "He deserves to know that I'm the one who killed Karen."

"You killed someone?" Brian asked.

"Two," Carol answered, looking down, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. "They were sick, I was just trying to stop it from spreading. I-it didn't work."

"Wow," Brian mumbled sarcastically. Then he turned to Rick. "You better not let her within a thousand feet of this prison, she's clearly a blood-thirty murderer just waiting until she gets the chance to kill again."

Rick glared at him. "What are you saying, Brian?"

"Andrea. Merle. Milton. An entire group of military men. Almost every person who has ever trusted me." He looked right into Rick's eyes. "These are some of the many I've killed, and I'm standing here."

"I didn't know you," Rick pointed out. "You weren't a part of this group. You didn't betray _my _trust."

"Only everyone else's."

Rick ignored him and continued. "Carol acted in a way I had never seen her before." He turned to look at the older woman. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't tell if you were too far gone-"

"What did you say?" Brian asked Rick, cutting him off. "Too far gone?" Rick just looked at him, so Brian continued. "'We are not too far gone', isn't that what you told me? If you honestly believed that about _me, _you should believe it about a woman who killed two people to save an entire group."

Rick was quiet before turning to Carol. "I know," he whispered. "I know." He took Carol's hand. "I really did miss you. I think the kids did, too. Nothing has been the same without your loving, motherly nature."

Carol smiled brightly and hugged Rick. "I missed you, too."

* * *

"Is it true that Carol is back?" Mika asked Brian outside.

Brian nodded. "Yes, she's back."

"Can we see her?" Lizzie asked with a smile.

Brian gave a slight smile back. "I think she said she was going to come over to see you girls." He didn't tell them that she was going to do it right after talking to the previous boyfriend of one of the people she killed. Brian wondered how that was going for her; probably not too well. She even had to bring Dixon Number Two and Rick because apparently Tyreese could very well lash out.

"I wish she hadn't left in the first place," Mika whispered sadly.

"Sometimes people need a break," Brian explained to them. He certainly has before.

* * *

Carol swallowed and lifted a shaky hand to her forehead to brush away some loose hair. Despite Daryl and Rick being right behind her - the two men she trusted more than anyone - she still felt uncertain and plain terrified.

_It needs to be done, _she reminded herself silently. _it _has _to be done. _

She poked her head into a small cell where Tyreese was sitting on a bed. She quietly called out to him.

He lifted his head. "You guys asked us to clear out a while ago." He looked at Rick. "Did you have a nice talk?"

"We need to have another one," Rick told him seriously. "Prison yard. Now."

Tyreese looked at Rick. "Whatever I'm being accused of-"

"You ain't bein' accused of nothin'," Daryl interrupted. "We just need to talk. Listen to Rick and get your ass outside." Tyreese looked between the three of them and slowly stood up. The four of them then headed out to the yard.

"Tyreese, there's something you need to know," Carol announced, once the four were in a private area outside. "Something you deserve to know; you have for a while."

"What's this about?" Tyreese demanded.

"Before she tells you, you have to promise us that you won't do anything stupid," Rick said.

"What's this-"

"Do it!" Daryl ordered, cutting Tyreesse off.

"All right, all right, I do," Tyreese promised.

Carol swallowed, feeling anxious and nauseous. "I-" she took in a breath. How should she tell him? Ease into it? Or just go out and say it? "Karen was sick . . ." She closed her eyes, finally choosing the latter. "I'm responsible for Karen's death. I always have been, always will. I'm sorry. I thought it would be better to try to stop this sickness from spreading. It was two lives for the rest of the prison. I made my choice and will live with it for the rest of my life." She looked down at the ground, no longer able to keep eye contact with him. "I'm so sorry," her voice broke as she apologized. "So, so sorry."

Tyreese was silent and she could sense Rick and Daryl getting ready for any chance of an on-coming attack from Tyreese.

She readied herself, too.

* * *

Brian walked outside the gate, keeping his distance from everyone as he usually did. To him it was a lot easier to do that than it was to go inside the blocks and try to come up with non-awkward conversation. He listened to the Biters and watched them as he walked along the gate. He came to a stop when something caught his eye.

"The hell. . ." he muttered. There on the ground, were several mice - well parts anyway. All of them were fairly large, and it was clear that the Biters weren't able to get the entire things through the fence, explaining why only part of them were eaten.

How the hell did the Biters catch all these mice? The average human can outrun a Biter, and the average mouse can outrun a human. In order for the Biters to be able to pull a mouse through the fence and rip in half, the mouse would've needed to be just sitting there.

Meaning they were already dead.

If it was one he wouldn't have even looked twice; two he would have looked at it as a coincidence, but there must have been at least a dozen. It suddenly occurred to him.

Someone was feeding the Biters.

**Sorry this chapter is so short (the top is also a lie, I went to bed that night), but I wanted to give you guys **_**something **_**so you knew I was still working on this. Okay, okay, I just started working on it yesterday and before that didn't really think about this. But, hey, now you guys know: . . . **

_**I'm baaaaaaack**_


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